A Quiet Christmas

Faithfully like clock work, Mom would decorate the graves for holidays. She had boxes of Christmas florals and wreaths. I made sure to do the same this year so all those years of collecting would be put to good use. Her side has the flowers and Dad's the Santa that he played so masterfully for many years.

Here's to you, Mom, a decorated for the season grave. We didn't forget.

A Freezer Full of Ice Cream

The downsizing of many food stuffs has been irritating. One is ice cream which until recently was sold in half-gallon containers. Now most are only 1.5 quart. I refuse to buy them. This caused a dilema on Thanksgiving to serve pie without ice cream. Therefore, I made a gallon batch of delicious vanilla from our trusty wooden electric ice cream maker.

This reminded me of my youth on many a summer Sunday when each of my siblings and I took a turn with our hand cranked model with high expectations of the delicious reward we got when it was frozen. Mom would be in the kitchen cooking a roast, mashing potatoes, making gravy. The table was set with her special pink rose bud china. Best manners were always used as we carefully consumed the meal and awaited our portion of ice cream.

The old freezer was put away in her shed a forgotten buddy of yesteryear.

Something Old, Something New

While going through Mom's possessions we have discovered so many old and beloved items. Her cedar chest which was always at the foot of her bed like a faithful pet. Growing up we looked at some of the things in it but never really appreciated them. Occassionally she would open it to take something out and show us. It was 'old stuff' and meant little to us.

Now it is all so precious. We discovered her wedding veil, now sixty plus years old. Embroidered pillowcases, hand crocheted doilies, floral table cloths. Many of the items were her wedding gifts. My sister, Sandy's baby sweater that matches the outfit she is wearing in a photo at six months old is here.

How sad I am that Mom cannot share these stories with us now. Why didn't we sit down with her and listen about the beautiful treasures she held dear? Like a Ghost Town they wait for her return.

Remember the Old Days

Stepping into this farm house kitchen of the Fielding Garr Ranch on Antelope Island, took me 'back to my youth'. I was a kid again with my bed sandwiched between the refrigerator and wood burning cook stove in the kitchen. Stainless steel legs, marbled gray table top, these mealtime wonders lasted for decades. It wasn't that long ago baby boomers crawled under, beside and on top of these sturdy structures.

Washer ringer tubs in the old kitchen are easily called to mind. On wash day the steady hum of the machine as the clothes swished back and forth, back and forth, are not forgotten by this 1950's baby. When ready each piece had to be pushed through the two rolling pin size, revolving rollers to ring out all the excess water. Next the tubs of laundry were hauled outside to be hung on the metal wire clothes line with wooden pins.

After whipping in the breeze, frozen into cardboard shapes or just drying in the sun, the pieces where let loose of their anchors taken back inside and dumped on the couch to be folded and put away. Oh, those were the days never to be forgotten.

Trumpet Vine Tasting Time

About six years ago I planted a trumpet vine at the corner of our tennis court. When I was a child, it grew wild at my grand parents place and reminds me of the good old days of hopscotch and bike rides.

The spindley bush had a hard time making it up the metal post and nearly died out completely, when we sprayed the weeds in our lawn. The suckers were sending up shoots everywhere. Once this perennial gets a foothold, watch out! It's like a teenager having an out of control growth spurt. I swear this plant grew six feet in one summer. It now tops our chain link tennis court fence and is eye level to the ten foot high deck.

Red-Orange is a hummingbird's favorite color. Dusk is a popular time for the tiny bird to visit our now "trumpet tree". No need for a hummingbird feeder to fill constantly with sugar water. Bees start here at first light in shifts, hauling out nectar till the sun's gone down. From my front row deck seat, it's a joy to observe a hard day's work from our little friends. What a marvel nature is.

Birthday Bash Posthumously

Our Crane Gang got together to celebrate Mom & Dad's birthday posthumously. They have passed on, but we still enjoy spending time having fun, eating, smiling and gabbing. May you do the same with your loved ones as often as possible.

Trying to Think Magically

I found 'The Year of Magical Thinking' by Joan Didion while cleaning out Mom's house. I had heard about it a few years ago, but forgot the title so didn't get it. This is a good time to read about death and bereavement. The book also helps me understand what it would have been like for Mom when she became a widow. I try to put myself in her shoes.

"Marriage is not only time: it is also, the denial of time." We see ourselves through our spouse's eyes, not aging. We remember events that took place in our togetherness and timelessness. After they are gone, we see ourselves through the eyes of others. When home, commenting or going places, "There is no one to agree, disagree, or talk back." Often the bereaved keeps time by last year's calendar, marking the dates when the deceased was still living.

I remember thinking Mom was selfish at times. "We are repeatedly left, with no further focus than ourselves, a source from which self-pity naturally flows." It was natural for her to gravitate to this after twenty years of being alone. She had experienced the 'Widowmaker' (heart attack) because of Dad's coronary artery
disease" and had to make the best of what was left of her life.

"Often we try to keep the dead alive: we try to keep them alive in order to keep them with us. There comes a point when we must reliquish the dead." This is a natural reaction to losing a loved one.

About a the year after Joan Didion's husband's death she wrote: "I pledged thst I would not lead the rest of my life as a specail case, a guest, someone who could not function on her own." Everyone comes to this point eventually and then gradually digs out on their own timetable.

Although losing a parent doesn't compare to a spouse, the healing comes in waves. Sometimes when we least expect it, a memory is jarred by some subtle encounter. No one knows how long it will be until the grieving and mourning are over. It must run its course as unpredictable as a broken river or ditch bank cascading to the lowest spot. Healing takes time and I must be patient.

New Addition

Katie and Troy Rueckert

Welcomed a son to their family

Max

born on May 15th @5:11pm

8lbs 1oz

21 1/2 inches long

Brian & Leah @BYU Idaho

A bunch of us spent the day visiting Brian and Leah at BYU Idaho earlier in the month. Julie, Paula, Sandy & I took some furniture from Mom's to help the nearly newlyweds out. A blonde kitchen table, chairs, kitchen supplies and a dresser looked great in their cute apartment. We had a crab salad on croissant's lunch and chatted about the future.

A tour of the campus seeing the newly furbished Manwaring Center and the just completed Conference Center. It was fun to be together while Paula was with us for a 'Sisters' retreat.

Surviving Siblings

We take a photo at every family event of the surviving siblings because you never know when one will be gone. Here is a sweet photo of Mom's brothers and sisters. Not so long ago they were young and full of promise. Here's to you that those dreams came true and life has been great.

Memories of Missing Mom

It's been one month since Mom passed. Her daffodils bloomed shortly after and everyday since. The hyacinths are standing guard along her sidewalk as if to say, "We made it back home. Have you gone away? We'll watch and wait."

I miss her cheery voice saying, 'How are you?' whenever she answered my phone calls. She let me talk about anything I wanted, after her update of who had recently passed away. The little things I took for granted, come back like the sweet babbling notes of a bird's song. Holding them close and gently in my mind, will help.

Thanks Mom for always being there. Forgive me for those times I was onery and such.

Loved Ones Remember, Mom

Many hugs, memories and smiles were exchanged as the Crane and Park families joined together to remember Mom. Sisters, children, cousins and more talked of this great matriarch and her friendly, but unique ways of showing love and concern.

Most were surprised as were we, that she went home to her Heavenly Father. She never wanted to linger, so suffer she didn't as a hemorrhaging brain anuerism took her life in March.

Little signs previous to this helped us prepare for the future. We all spent time together at a reunion dinner marking the twenty-second year, since Dad's death in February. Each talked about how we could help her. Sad we are events happened so quickly, with little more than to be at her bedside for a few hours.

We must go on remembering how much she loved us, knowing she is happy to be with Dad now preparing for the eternities.

Recipient of the Silver Beaver Award

A few weeks ago Jim Crane received one of the highest Boy Scouting awards given, the Silver Beaver Award. We attended the special awards ceremony at the Bountiful Regional Center. Bob Evans of Channel 13 News, was the Master of Ceremonies. About 60 received the award including Gail Miller, wife of the late Larry H. Miller, the Most Reverend John C. Wester of the Salt Lake Diocese, and many hard working, dedicated men and women to the scouting program.

Jim has served on both Cub and Boy Scout committees as well as working to help teach hundreds of young men the benefits of scouting. He was nominated by, Elaine, his wife. When others heard he was getting the award, they said that he definitely deserved it.

Congratulations, to you Jim for being such a great example and serving the youth of today.

Feeding Our Feathered Friends

For pennies it is easy to 'feed the birds' just like they did in Mary Poppins. Make a simple flat bird feeder or buy one of the many specialty kinds for the particular size of birds you want around. Bird seed is inexpensive and easy to store. Be certain it is an area free from predators.

The birds will find the food and love you for your generosity. Sometimes feeders need to be replenished daily during the winter months when food is scarce. Lots of pleasure is gained from watching the young fledglings new from the nest, hop around the feeding area in their innocense. Grab binoculars now, while the trees are bare and enjoy bird watching from the kitchen window. This is the best time of the year, as the birds return before leafing begins.

A Bit Like Bethlehem

For a change of pace we decided to journey to Bethlehem for the Crane Christmas party. Leaving the candy, Santa & games for another year, the children enjoyed making Driedels, Stars of David, scrolls and tried wood carving. We ate flat bread, olives and citrus peel.

It was definitely a different atmosphere. Everyone wore robs, head scarfs and more. Many pictures were taken enjoy seeing a few of them.